Sunshine Remorse

by Jon Hughes

/
1.
2.
As Capitan of a ghost ship Sailing through clouds; Rain the stars for the wishes that were stolen back down Into your way. Discussions turn to Russians — Samovars and scorns; Take the time for translating our fictional forms Into our days. Cause I've been in denial That my life has been only happening. Thought streams echo over Whispers in flight And they float through the hollows of the whispering night Into my palm. Statuesque in the shadows — Streetlamps and smoke; And a car passes by for every promise we broke And keeps driving on. Cause I've been in denial That my life has been only happening.
3.
I was looking up but the Greyness was all I could see; In the open — in a Puddle of broken dreams; Asked me for answers — I was Feeling hard to read, Cause with all the white and wordless noise I could hardly breathe. Have I fallen into a Moonless sleep? Will my life play out some Graceless melody? Have I been left waiting for this Dream-lit day to come Where I can find you holding A branch of midnight sun?
4.
Given all these Wakeful hours To wasteful modes. This stillness comes and goes and Leaves you looking for the Wherewithal to follow. Waves pass through Drifting in between The abandoned buoys. The sky is crowded with the Stars of former selves — Some loved, all lost. Staring out from Wind-torn beaches to Broken seas; He'll feel the weight of hollow Promises you made — Some for real, some for show. You drift past Swallowed mountains and Valleys whole Into the darkness of the Dreamless night you wake — Forgotten, forsaken.
5.
Citizen Zero 03:49
Drinking concoctions of flowers and wood; Vacuous opinions about how the animal is cooked; Channel the mountains through a chamber of mist; Paying out the premium for a view of the abyss. Oh what have I become? Citizen zero reaps the fruits of the vine — In ancient constellations watches memories and stars align. I have been dealing with this sunshine remorse — Clouded by the feelings of the days that came before. Daylight if filtered through terrarium glass Waiting for the moment when the moment's come to pass. Oh what have I become? Citizen zero feels the warm evening sun Touching every window before falling over everyone. And if you, only if you asked my name, I would be here with you.
6.
I stood by you — I stood by watching you fade away. Silk screen forest, Stone rabbits on the table Is all that's left. All I want for is you. I don't talk — I keep it — Keep it together — I bottle it up. See you passing down A river of forgotten Days. All I want for is you.
7.
My future heart — In a dream she came; Ribbons of colours down her wrists — Red, blue, grey. The silence cursed Songs of my history; A half-strung guitar that she plays, And I know no words; I follow the daisy chain To nowhere first — Drowning in metaphor — Gonna speak real plain. The silence choked Rumours of mysteries; Dreamt in the colours of sea, Now I dream in code. Work for the absence of the weight — A lightweight soul; Cling to the perception of the choice — Gonna be real great. Future heart — Can't go back; Ribbons of colours round her wrist — Red, blue, black — And it all goes black.
8.
In the gallery Where my heroes are hanging, Gazing at a face so still I saw roses turn to flames Coming out of both of her Ears and her mouth And you were like a child, so strange, Couldn't even see me there. I offered you a hummingbird On my finger did thrum And all that I received in return was not a word. Tried to hit the note that would sing To your delicate soul But I didn't even come close. I've counted every star In this metropolis sky — Trapped inside a mania so still, I feel power, I feel shame; I burn out and I fall into the gaze of your eyes, And every word that comes, so strange, Could you even hear say? All I ever wanted was Just some vague idea That you could find me Nowhere and next to you at once. And I could drift away Like some thin and Ethereal thing And you'd find me where the Light falls in the evening. I offered you some half-wrung verse On a nail where it hung So you could find me Nowhere and next to you at once. Tried to hit the note that would sing To your delicate soul But I didn't even come close.
9.
On some mossy table in a Forest of ferns; The resonant hollow of a Grecian urn; On a lattice of starlight in an Adamantine chest; The potpourri bedding of an Eagle's nest. Down a red wine well In a rocket ship shell This is the place we'll call home. In some amber casing of a Dinosaur wing; In some rare collection of Ancient things; In some spoken vesper twixt the Teeth and the tongue; In some lullaby that was Never sung. To the heedless unknown We can offer our bones Find a place to call home. In a space without time In the back of your mind This is the place we'll call home.
10.
Came wearing a halo — I knocked back a dram, In the pleistocene fountain I swam. I followed the fashion — In featherlight boots I Hydroplaned over the moon. Emaciated mannequins made me Fear for the future and then — I stop, The window reflects, Try myself on — Shimmer and smoke — There and then gone. Ogling fast cars — Violent machines Advancing on rice paper screens; I joined in the stupor, Religious in feel — All falling asleep at the wheel. Oh, how I've come to despise All the hateful looks in their eyes. I stop, The window reflects — Day rattles on — Shimmer and smoke — There and then gone. End to diffident end — Dragging the shame of every fall; How can I envisage a halcyon picture When I picture nothing at all? I made up my mind — Offered the thought buried in song; How can I be telling you all that I'm thinking When all that I'm thinking is wrong?
11.
Verse fell into broken word; The sun fell into rain; Leaves scattered over war-turned earth Gathered golden to fade and decay; Night measured by broken sleep; Light fell out of days — And in all confusion of broken thought From the darkness you came. Alighting on crooked twig — A swallow or a thorn; Both climbing to naked truths Wasted on wondering what they were for; Deed drawing from crooked deed; The past leads the way — And through all the parsing of unknown worlds, Undivided, you came. Wake into song — Summer stars — And carry the tune All your own.

credits

released January 12, 2019

All songs written, recorded, and produced by Jon Hughes.

Strings on 'Sunshine Remorse Theme', 'Valleys Whole', and 'Citizen Zero' by Michael Chang.

Mixed by John Burke at Claycastle Studios.

Mastered by Richard Dowling at Wav Mastering.

Cover design by Rovigo Manucci and Jon Hughes.

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Jon Hughes Ireland

American songwriter and multi-instrumentalist, Jon Hughes, has been based in Ireland since 2005. He has shared a stage with Damien Jurado, She Keeps Bees, and the legendary singer-songwriter, Buddy Mondlock.

Hughes' latest collection of songs, "Sunshine Remorse", was released in January of 2019.
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